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June 27 Sick - or black humour? I was awake, believe it or not, when the news flash about Michael Jackson's death came on TV. At first it was only "Michael Jackson is reportedly dead ...." because they didn't have confirmation and the BBC is a stickler for the facts! Within 15 minutes of that news flash this came through to me: "You are invited to Michael Jackson's funeral. Dress code - "You Can Wear Black Or White!" Is this sick or is this black humour or as you Americans say, humor! I dunno honestly  May 29 Move over Rose Tyler!! The Doctor's next assistant has been announced! And I'm in love already! So bye bye Rose Tyler - and a big wet sloppy kiss to Karen Gillian!  May 24 Debbie does Peru!My friend and neighbour Debbie is back on the island from Peru and while there, climbed Mount Machu Picchu. No mean feat in itself but while doing it, managed to raise a considerable amount of money for cerebral palsy charities. So well done Debs! Shame you are a Milwall fan – you must be crying into your wine!April 27 Wanted - good home for a meerkat How sad is this? Bored out of my head on a Saturday night I went a bit over the top on www.comparethemeerkat.com Now I have nearly 100 of them  For anyone outside the UK, this won't mean a thing but basically it's a cult British TV advert. So if you can give a meerkat a home - please help. But remember, a meerkat is for life, not just for Christmas  Simples !!!April 12 The Doctor is Back! Wooo! The Doctor returned to TV tonight! No Rose Tyler - but how ironic there was a Chrystina! Even more ironic - the next Doctor Who looks amazingly like Jack    April 09 Cellulite and kidsIt’s Easter so that means cellulite and kids time on the
island! No, just kidding about the cellulite but some people would look better on the nudist beaches with a bit of cover! Weather is great, April 02 Coo-eee I'm back! Well, having spoken to a few people - why should I give up this space? My conscience is clear! Whatever happened happened at their end not as a result of mine! So here I am! Not that anything greatly interesting has happened - does it ever? If it does, I'll report it back here! March 11 Dancing on Ice Oh I love it - and so do millions others apparently. Everyone I know seems to have suddenly become an ice skating expert! "That's worth a 5.5," I said to no-one in particular. It not only pushes the contestants' boundaries to the limits, but my knowledge of ice skating too. For instance (not that any of them would ever attempt one) I now know the difference between a triple toe loop and a double toe loop. I can spot an axle and a double axle a mile off, ogle at a tea pot, watch someone clean up with a vacuum, get moved when a car is pulled out and think how daring when someone goes for a headbanger.  Yep, the country is suddenly full of ice skating experts like me. It's even got me scouring e-bay for ice skates. Fortunately, the only ice you see in the Canary Islands is in your drink.  Well, fed up of having my e-mails compromised by people belonging to Facebook/Tagged/Faceparty/MySpace etc so I'm off. This is about the third time this has happened. So if you get an invite to join something or invite me - even if it has my photo - it's not from me!! So I'm cancelling my Hotmail and Messenger address - whether it will affect this blog I don't know. Anyway, my history on here and everything said on it will live on forever in Google's cache though! Some thought, eh? March 04 Me and mbile phones What is it about me and mobile phones that I keep losing them?  I'm going back to Spain on Saturday and now I've lost my Spanish sim card. Which will mean getting another one, probably with another new number and all the hassle involved in letting people know what it is. Not only that, there was about £30 worth of credit on it at last count too!  March 02 Dying a death With the recession, my local shopping centre is becoming a ghost town. Not only big names like Woolworths and Oddbins have shut down, but many small shops including hairdressers, a garden centre, travel agents, a music shop and a family bakery. Now a funeral parlour has taken over the family-run car showroom that has been there for 30years - talk about the place dying a death! February 28 Passing the hat around I was disappointed to see that "my" painting has been removed from my local art gallery window to be replaced by a painting of a lion by Rolf Harris! No taste, this art gallery! But I found out there's two more paintngs in the series by the same artist I want - and I could have all three for the knock down price of six grand! So as I pass the hat around - here's a glimpse of the other two you will hopefully be contributing towards!   February 24 Man In The Black Suit If anyone fancies buying me an early birthday present, I've found just the thing! It's a painting hanging in my local art gallery called Man In The Black Suit by the Argentinian artist Fabian Perez. Take a look at it and you'll see why I want it so much if you know my MSN name! Oh - and it's a real snip at just £2,100 ...  February 15 The postman never even knocked once ...Oh well, waited up until midnight and the postman didn't come. No Valentine's Day cards .... again!
 Not even an email one and they don't cost much! It reminded me of about this time last year when I sat up waiting to see if i'd get any marriage proposals as it was a Leap Year. I waited... and waited ... and even took into account the time difference between the UK and America and Australia - which basically meant I was up all night and still got nothing! Not even a Valentine's Day card either let alone a proposal!
Valentine's Day can be a bit of a downer when you know you are not going to get one. When you walk past petrol stations, news agents and flower shops and see there's not a card or flower left. Or when you hear a relative's 15 year old son had reserved a table in an up-market restaurant for himself and his girlfriend. Since when do 15 year old kids "reserve" a table at a restaurant when I can't? Even if I had been lucky enough to have had someone to take to dinner, I'd probably have turned up at the restaurant to be told it was full and see this 15 year old geek sitting at a table marked "reserved"!
 As the TV ad goes: Valentine's Day ... a jet from America, excess baggage, a taxi from the airport £800. A single rose and Valentine's Day card - priceless!
So I think we should have an "Unloved Day" for all those who know we won't get a Valentine's Day card. Then we can all band together and send each other an Unloved card to make US feel special too! February 01 Back from SpainBack from a short break in Spain feeling more shattered than before I left. Yes, I know - too many late nights and too much alcohol ...
 While it was nice to go back to the Costa del Sol where I had lived so long and it was great to see some old friends after about seven years, the visit was tinged with sadness. "How's so-and-so?" I'd ask. "Dead," came the reply. "Oh, what happened to such-and-such?" "Dead," they'd say. Or I'd ask: "What happened to ...?" and the reply would be "Gone back to the UK."
Still, it was nice to see those old friends I did see, to take in how the place had changed. As one said: "We had some good fun then!"
And the weather was pretty good too considering the time of year!
 I certainly noticed the difference when I touched down in Brum!  And, ofcourse, there was the added consolation of stocking up my contraband cabinet!  January 23 PC Disaster Been plagued by a series of minor disasters lately. These led up to the biggest one the other day when I went to switch off my PC only for the coffee table it was on to collapse into a pile of fire wood sending Coke cascading on to the key board. Needless to say, my PC wasn't very well after. Loads of keys won't work and it's got a mind of its own. Today I took it to the PC doctor. Even if he manages to save it, it sounds expensive. I'll keep you posted and apologise for my absence! January 12 Impulse buyingWent into the city centre on Saturday - gosh was it cold with the wind chill factor!! The main aim was to get my mobile phone unlocked so I could use my old UK phone number and save myself money. That done, I then started browsing in the warmth of the Bull Ring killing time until my train.
The result? I've booked a small break on the Costa del Sol at the end of the month! Talk about impulse buying ... January 09 Welcome to Brrrrrmingham!Well, my first taste of England for a couple of months hasn't been good - it's friggin' cold here! Thanks to good ol' Ryanair arriving late I ended up 33 quid out of pocket ... by the time the old wreck touched down, the last trains had stopped running so I had to get a taxi!
Plus I had one of those annoying kids sat right behind me - you know the ones .... those that don't stop kicking the back of your seat!! For four and a half hours! At one point I got so fed up I tried to flop the seat into the recline position in the hope of breaking the brat's leg! But being Ryanair, you don't get the luxury of a reclining seat!
And then to top it all, I find my sister is here for the next month and half! This not only seriously cramps my style (how can you watch porn with your sister opposite you?
 ) but she had already seriously invaded my space moving in her X Box, re-arranging the room, empty Red Bull cans and clothes everywhere etc etc!! I feel a series of escape breaks coming up!!!! Any volunteers??? January 02 Oh well - here we go!Well that's the back of 2008 - now there's 2009 to look forward to if that's the right phrase.
I went to a fancy dress New Years Eve as Capt Jack from Pirates of the Caribbean then it was down to the beach to watch the firework show. I don't think the Spanish quite got the joke of seeing this pirate running along the water's edge, arms flapping as the fireworks went off, shouing in his best Keith Richards voice:"Buga - they're firing at my ship!"
Happy New Year to all! December 31 Happy New YearHappy New Year to everyone. I hope 2009 brings everything you all want and more! x December 23 Happy Christmas!Just to wish a happy Christmas to all those who occasionally pass by here! Have a good one! xxxx December 16 OMG - what have Microsoft doneJEEZ - they have played around and mucked up Live Spaces so much! I can't be bothered posting anything!! Why can't we have our old place back? What they have done with the site is shit! I might have to sign up to Facebook!!! November 26 Wow! What a woman!Feeling rather sorry for myself after being badly let down by someone, I dragged myself off to a resort in the north of the island and booked into a self catering apartment for night. At the amazing price of ten quid
Now the last couple of years I have stayed in some pretty grotty hotels and Travelodges in England that have cost four or five times that and don’t come with the luxury of a fridge, microwave, hob unit, kettle, toaster, pots, crockery etc and a comfortable bed in a separate bedroom!
Anyways it meant I could go out, meet some new people which will probably involve a trip to Sheffield when I am back in January (does anyone know where Sheffield is?
And meet some great people. The most amazing of which was an absolutely stunning, sexy, drop dead gorgeous, slim, attractive, brunette … transsexual! Truly the most stunning transsexual I have ever seen and if I didn’t know, I could already be love! Could I fall in love with a transsexual? Hmmm ….. that's a thought! November 21 Tragedyfrom nowhereSomebody I know broke their neck the other day. They have been airlifted to a hospital on another island and nobody knows yet whether he will be paralysed for life. It just shows how tragedy can come from nowhere.
It has ironic how it happened. He was lifting a woman in a wheelchair up some steps when he slipped on the flower droppings from a palm tree and fell backwards with the wheelchair and woman crashing on top of him. Ironically, the woman was in a wheelchair because she had broken her leg slipping on the same droppings a couple of weeks before.
Sometimes it takes an accident to make you appreciate life. November 04 We've split up ....Well we’ve finally split up. After countless trial separations, my mobile phone has walked out on me!
I’ve left it in countless restaurants and bars all over Europe and somehow we have always got back together again. This time, though, it’s over.
I think she slipped out of my pocket in a taxi. The real tragedy, though, is I’ve lost every number I’ve ever had. There were numbers I didn’t even know, numbers that I didn’t really want to know but above all, number that I DO want to know! So I have to start all over again! So if you want me to have your number, please e-mail it …. there's no point in texting it!! November 01 Life on the edgeWell I haven’t written much for a while – mostly because there hasn’t been much worth writing about! The internet connection is still dodgy to say the least! And we copied South Africa a couple of weeks ago and ran out of electricity – the whole island was plunged into darkness which was a weird thing to see – not that you could see much at all! I took a walk along the beautiful sand dunes, went to see a show and have generally drank too much but apart from that, very little of interest has happened. So that’s it – life on the edge in the Canary Islands! Exciting eh?
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Thanks for visiting! Why not leave a comment to let me know you've passed by! 
SaucySuziewrote:
Love your photos!
Feb. 24
küpeşte merdivenwrote:
Feb. 6
wendy hudsonwrote:
Hey handsome................ yes you xxx( you know what I mean) lol xxx
Dec. 9
cherylwrote:
 Hugs from a pug (and me!)...Hope you're feeling a bit better xx
Nov. 29
cherylwrote:
 Hiya hun, how's you? Recovered from your relationship break up with The Phone?? God, brings me out in cold sweats thought of losing my phone....sad but true!!  Hope you're keeping well...bet it's a tad warmer there...lol. Tc xx
Nov. 11
cherylwrote:
 Hi hun, hope all's well in the land of the sun!! xx
Oct. 30
cherylwrote:
 Happy holidays!! Lol. Hmm, think the same thing happens in most affluent areas nowadays....God, bet you're looking forward to the sunshine!!  No, not jealous at all...that's just some new green foundation am trying out....Tc xx
Oct. 8
Alan strangerwrote:
Hiya Wends! Yep I'm still in England right now but not for long - I fly to the Canaries on October 14.
No, I haven't been generally on-line much recently. Hope you are keeping well - stay in touch xxx
Oct. 5
wendy hudsonwrote:
Hi Alan... have you gone back to the Canaries now? I haven't seen you around..was going to text but not sure where you are........... please keep in touch .Wendy xxx
Oct. 5
cherylwrote:
 OOPS! Sorry if my shouting woke you!! Have a sore throat now, so serves me right, huh. felt better, though...for about an hour!! Will shout quieter next time ok.....xx
Sept. 25
cherylwrote:
 Hello again...no more sightings of the big hairy thing, lol!! Hope you're having a good weekend...xx
Sept. 20
Louisa Wardwrote:
Just passin through so thought i'd be polite and say hi lol............HI...........
Sept. 20
cherylwrote:
 Helllooo....just passing through so thought better say hi! Here's to the weekend....xx
Sept. 18
KITTY Hugs and kisseswrote:
Sept. 11
Jackiewrote:
Haha-me,techy? Not in a million years but i like a challenge so take out my "creativity on my Psace! I guess it spares poor old hubby from having me decorate the house instead....Seeing as you accidentally deleted me i think it's only fair i send a replacement so here goes-have a happy day and i hope you had the best of weekends.Love Jackie x
Sept. 7
Alan strangerwrote:
Thanks Sheila but read between the lines - most of it is rubbish!
Sept. 6
sheila ridleywrote:
wow you write a lot of blogs ..i never seem to have the time or cantthink of anything interesting to say lol have a goodun xxx
Sept. 3
No namewrote:
Hi.Alan 
Aug. 26
wendy hudsonwrote:
Hi Alan.thankyou for the message... you are most welcome ,( unlike some i am not bitter, cynical or jealous..)You will always be very special to me and i regard you now as a very dear and close friend....( Chrystina take care of him hunny).. luv ya both ..............Wendy xxxx
Aug. 1
Alan strangerwrote:
Thanks babe! Something tells me you could be right about The Doctor and Rose!!!  xxx
July 18
Chrystina Stockdalewrote:
Woohoo I found your Guestbook all by myself ((( cough))). Just wishing you a very Happy Birthday Gorgeous. Something tells me that the Doctor and Rose won't ever be happy unless they're together and fakes wont do. xxx
July 18
Brendawrote:
OMG Astra, you put my beehive picture up!! tsk lol
Apr. 29
Joanne Medhurstwrote:
Woooooo Hoooooo I've finally made it here xx
Apr. 24
Alan strangerwrote:
Beth, you added yesterday's comment where it should have been - in the Add A Comment of My Blog. And it's still there .You've put this one down in my Guesbook.
The My Blog Add A Comment is so that you can your own funny bits to whatever I blog or don't blog. The Guestbook is, I suppose, just for people to sign to say they've passed by and leave a comment.
Any clearer?
Feb. 29
Bethwrote:
Why on earth does MSN take me here when I try to add to MY blog!!
And where on earth is the comment I added last night/morning??
I admit I'd had a glass and a half of wine last night when I tried to add a comment (and its fact alcohol even in small amounts addles my brain), but thats no excuse for my comments to disappear!
I've been laid up all day myself in pain and no one to offer sympathy - how I cameto be in pain and wearing a plaster cast might have something to do with the said wine and "That Darn Cat!!"
Next time you feel sorry for yourself think it could've been worse - you could've been me! 
Feb. 29
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